My daughter recently bought her own house and moved out. I took over her Bedroom as my train room, but my three year old grandson’s room has more layout space. I want to swap rooms, but he has had that room since he was born and that’s the room he always wants to go to when he’s tired. I can’t put him down for a nap anywhere else. It’s always got to be in that room. The room is actually smaller, but is laid out better for my portable modular layouts. I just don’t have the hart to kick him out of his room. I don’t want him to feel insecure or cause any Emotional distress. Here is an example of the layout I’m talking about.
Trade him a layout for the room. Or offer to redecorate the new room how he'd like too. I know my three year old would have a hard time moving, he fears change, but if you come up with a way to make it a positive event, maybe he'll go along with it. I definitely wouldn't force it though.
Well he certainly loves trains. Now if he were a teenager he would be out of there already unless he paying rent of course.:tb-biggrin: I forgot to mention one other problem. My wife is dead set against it. The current train room is on the street side and she think he’ll be distracted with the older kids playing outside a bed time.
Well, if my experience is to count for anything, build something permanent in the daughter's room. They have a way of wanting to move back home, and this would make it a major imposition. She'd want to move in and bunk with grandson, and that won't do In case my meaning isn't clear, it's not the layout you have as an opportunity...it's the chance to make daughter's absence from the home more permanent. Claim the space now...while there's still time.
I agree on the switch. Make it exciting for him, although that may be easier with a bit older child. We had to move our daughter to a different room when she was attached to her present room, and we made it exciting for her, let her pick out colors, decorations and let her make it her own. She was older though, 6. With a three yr old it may be harder. Good luck on what ever you do. PS, My one stepson, moved out last year with his girlfriend. Wife and I had the whole house to ourselves and I got the OK to turn his room into my train room. Guess what, he and the GF broke up and now,,,,,, he's back.
I know about that one my youngest daughter was gone for about 3 months and she came back a couple of weeks ago. A building contractor friend of mine had his two grown up boys moving their families in and out, then one time when he & his wife had the house to themselves, he tore out all the bedrooms except his and had one huge living room. That was the end of that.
The trick here is to make him feal special that he is getting a new room. You need to build him up and how big of boy he is and he is getting a new room, that’s really a special thing. But remind him he is getting to keep all of his old things, his bed and dresser and so on.
OK, I think I’m getting it now. It’s been a long time since my kids were 3.baffled: So I slowly build him up to the idea of moving up in the world. I guess I need to sell him on the room and maybe he will ask me to move. That’s a pretty good idea. I just hope he buys in to it at age 3. Joe mentioned his daughter was 6 and could understand the benefits. I just have to be careful that he doesn’t think the trains are part of the deal.rolleyes:
Being an empty Nester for quite some years now, I still have to placate she who must be obeyed, or pay the consequences.:tb-biggrin: I have seen the answers so far and all I can say a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. Another item is that a 3 year old should not be controlling the family, it should be the other way around. If you can not control him now what do you think it will be like in 10 years. I have 5 grandsons ranging in age from 3 to 13, and I get the respect from everyone of them. They fight to spend a week in the summer with Papa and Grandma. I also have 2 granddaughters who have a place at my table also. It is wonderful to see them come but it is also wonderful when they go back to mama and daddy.:tb-biggrin: At 71 running after little ones and parenting are not the fun it was at 20 something.:tb-biggrin: That being said, I love everyone of them, and don't ever try to tell me don't have favorites, just make sure that everyone of them is special in your eyes.:tb-biggrin:
Now, don’t get me wrong I love my kids and if I could, I’d like them to live with me forever, but I’ve given them everything. Now it’s time my wife and me to live a little.
Goodness! What a topic. Let me put it this way: At 60 years old you are better off with a happy wife and a smaller train layout. That said there is a disturbing trend in the world today and that is, kids never leave home. Or if they do, they come back. Funny how parents during the depression didn't have these issues. Kids were welcome to stay, but most kids couldn't wait to hit the road at 17 or 18. Those kids grew up, mostly with the ideals any of us would want in a child. Then along with Dr. Spock they decided that constant 'loving and nurturing and no real discipline was the way to raise kids. Now we have kids that have been coddled their whole lives and cannot/will not make decisions for the themselves. "Mom and Dad always did it, so why should I?" So here we are. For many reasons the job of parenting is never over. We can blame 'children' at home on many reasons. Economy, lack of education, laziness, you name it. Ultimately, maybe the cause is the way parents have raised their children since 1952. No child of the depression wanted their children to have to endure that lifestyle. Unfortunately, along with giving, they forgot the general rules of child rearing that have been successful for 50,00 years. Our society as a whole is now suffering the consequences of no disipline in the home for two generations. There is unfortunately no going back to the days when children said, "Yes sir, no mam." Children today have little or no respect for authority because they didn't learn it in the home from their parents. So if you have have to settle for a smaller trainroom so be it. Unfortunately you may only have yourself to blame. m2cw. Cheers, Jim CCRR/Socalz44 PS disclairmer: This is not a personal condemnation. I don't know your situation. Just my take on possible issues that may affect your trainroom. Jim
Pyrrhic Victory - Wow I had to look that one up. You never know what you'll learn on Trainboard! Paul/
Believe me, I had no such intentions, and now that the one daughter, who moved back in with us twice, is living with a man by whom she is about to have her second child, and having gone through the earthly equivalent of hell before she left home the first time at 16, I am a changed man...much wiser. Life isn't the same for everyone.
To be brutally frank, in this day and age life is all change, change, change. The sooner your child learns this and how to work it to his best advantage the better it'll be for him long term. (I have an autistic daughter and believe me, not being able to change things at less than a week's notice is a real stress maker ) That said all the advice above about making it a pull move and not a push is the best way to go.
I’m only going to gain 26”, but that added to 30” of useless space that I already have will give me room for a steel mill. I probably should just drop it and leave things like they are. I’m even thinking of abandoning my old C80 Layout and building a new layout in the closet for my steel mill. When my son was Graduating from High school I informed him that he had to either go to college or get a job and that he wasn’t going to just lay around the house or party all the time. He surprised us all by enlisting in the US Marine Corp and stayed there for 9 years. Now he’s in the Army. My daughters could not wait to get out of the house, but the economy brought them right back again. Now that my oldest daughter owns her own home, I don’t expect her to be back. My youngest doesn’t want to go to college or even try to find a higher paid job, she’s perfectly happy doing what she’s doing. When I told her that we were leaving the state when I retire, she checked to see if she could transfer to where we’re going. It is nice to have someone else at home to take care of things when we are out of town. My neighbors are more than willing to take care of things and have done so many times, but I don’t like asking.
Does the grandson live with you or is this just his nap room when he's visiting? If the former I agree with those who say move the boy but make him think it's a reward or even his idea. If the latter, can you build a trundle nap bed into the benchwork? It's your house. You (and SWMBO) should be calling the shots on room allocation. Not the boy or his parents.
