"Lost" my wife. Still have trains. Win win. Share your own story.

jacobmarley Apr 11, 2014

  1. jacobmarley

    jacobmarley TrainBoard Member

    My wife had a mid-life crisis at 50. Wanted to be a teenager again. Get tattoos. Go out partying til all hours. Behave like she is younger than my teenage daughters. Yeah...not into that. Nor are my daughters. She left to pursue her dreams. But...you know what? I still have trains. And my daughters. I win big time. :) Please share your own stories of Train vs. Spouse.
  2. BoxcabE50

    BoxcabE50 HOn30 & N Scales Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter

    Yeoow. Bummer. Glad to know you still have the daughters and your trains.
  3. mtntrainman

    mtntrainman TrainBoard Supporter

    Wife loves the trains
    Kids love the trains
    Grandkids love the trains
    In-laws love the trains
    Dogs love the trains
    Friends love the trains
    Neighbors love the trains
    Landlord love the trains

    Whats not to love... :)
  4. BarstowRick

    BarstowRick TrainBoard Supporter

    The one constant in my life has been my love of trains and my hobby. Yep, my wife wanted out despite the bit about for better or worse... she said it was getting worse instead of better. I agreed but somehow that happens in a world snarling with conformity and my way or the highway... management thinking. On the job there is no democracy or freedom of speech. Anyway, it just wasn't working out and trains... are still my constant.

    S#!t does happen.
  5. EMD F7A

    EMD F7A TrainBoard Member

    I had, last year, taken a bit of time off work. Wife got antsy about the time and money I spent on trains... Until I showed her she spends more on going out drinking than I do on trains, and I have something to show for it! (Not just a headache LOL). She quieted down after that. I ended up selling most of my trains to finance opening a coffee shop; I'm at the shop now and between customers, designing my layout.

    Wife is still a bit jealous of the trains tho ;)
  6. porkypine52

    porkypine52 TrainBoard Member

    First wife could care less about my hobby ("He's downstairs playing with his D*** trains!"). Couldn't understand why I didn't want to go out partying & drinking after work, then get up and go to work the next day. Being constantly hungover on the Job tends to make the Boss a LITTLE upset with a person!

    She hated the trains, but in the Divorce Decree, she wanted 1/2 of all the trains in the house. This was on the day the Divorce Decree was finalized by the Judge. WELL SURPRISE.....There weren't any trains (or very few) in the house at that time. Even had a local Sheriff Deputy come to the house and look around. NO TRAINS!! Guess she had never heard of those self-storage warehouses. But there weren't any trains in the house on the day of the Divorce Decree!!

    Thank God & Greyhound, she's GONE! 2nd wife loves the Trains and is into the local NMRA group also. After 22 years now, I hope she keeps me!!
  7. John Moore

    John Moore TrainBoard Supporter

    Wife supports my hobbies since if I'm at the workbench I'm not in trouble, if I am fishing fresh fish on the table, hunting a nice venison roast, and gardening fresh veggies and corn on the cob. Grandkids think the trains are neat. The big 17 pound tomcat likes the trains and his sister Deekus the Cat likes to watch them run. Still married to the same woman going on almost 48 years now shy a few months. Waited to later in life to get married, picked a nice old fashioned values, church going woman and have never looked back or had cause to regret it. Even our political views are very close.
  8. bman

    bman TrainBoard Member

    I was your typical model railroader as a kid. Then sports became more important for me. Then Was married 17 years and when she turned 40 she had that "I've not done anything with my life moment". She was a couch potato for the most part. While I always was doing something interesting outdoors or involved in sports. Working nights for most of those 17 years didn't help either. So after her leaving and my life changing health issue, I returned to model railroading and it's helped me stay sane.
  9. eric220

    eric220 TrainBoard Member

    15 years with the same woman, 10 years married. She supports my hobby, although it certainly helps that I can work overtime to pay for the really expensive stuff. She's the one that encouraged me into N Scale, and she likes hanging out with my railroading buddies. Not sure how I got so lucky.
  10. TwinDad

    TwinDad TrainBoard Member

    16 happy years (out of 16) here. She doesn't get it, but she "gets it", and fully supports my hobby as long as I stay in bounds on the budget and real estate. She'll offer sage advice and counsel when asked, accompanies me on shopping and railfan trips, and learns a thing or two about trains so we can talk.

    She's glad I have a relatively harmless hobby that keeps me sane and happy and can also be shared with (or at least shared space with) the family.

    We hit the jackpot in finding a knitting store near a railroad crossing. :)
  11. cnw mike

    cnw mike TrainBoard Member

    Sorry to hear about that man. It's actually more common than you think. I have an older snowmobiling buddy exact same thing happened to. Wife was in her mid forties, started hanging out in bars etc. Her kids were horrified. I call it "sex in the city syndrome".
  12. paperkite

    paperkite TrainBoard Member

    Good for you , If I were in Alameda I'd come have coffee at your place and watch your train layout grow ... been married 30 yrs to second wife and could not have picked a better mate ... amazing when God brings one into your life and all goes according to His plan.. She likes the trains , gardening and spending money , Loves the Lord and even likes to shoot at the range now and then . God has blessed many of us with great mates, kids , grand kids and the time and energy to enjoy it all ...
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2014
  13. OwenK

    OwenK New Member

    Had the same thing late last year. My previously demure wife and mother of our two children started hanging out in bars, making male friends and getting tattoos and piercings despite my begging her not to turn into that kind of person; then had the gall to suggest I had changed, and I was trying to control her... Then lied one night that she was staying at a girlfriend's house and I found out she was with one of these male friends. Allegedly not having an affair, but that was the last straw for me. It made me realise I'd made a terrible choice of partner and actually she'd treated me really poorly a lot of the time. I wrote myself a letter outlining all the ways she had treated me badly that I hadn't deserved and it ended up being two full A4 pages. I got out of there, and am much happier for it.

    Couple of months on, I've met a girl who's awesome in every way and is definitely the RIGHT kind of person to be with instead of the WRONG. The ex when I see her nowadays looks a total mess with ridiculous hair, piercings and tattoos all over her skin and is careening into a second marriage having gotten engaged a month after I moved out - OUR divorce isn't even finalised yet...

    Anyway the ex always looked down on my hobbies. The new girlfriend isn't interested in trains herself, but LOVES that I am interested in such "clever stuff" when I was explaining some of the detailed elements of what we do & my 3D printing stuff. And even appreciated the beauty of things like a few Art Deco style streamlined steamers I showed her. So, that one's a keeper.
  14. GP30

    GP30 TrainBoard Member

    Wife and I have been together 5.5 years, 4 married. She doesn't get it, maybe looks down on it but she understands that's what I like to do.

    She asks a rhetorical question a lot "Why does your hobby have to be soooo expensive?" Yet, I haven't bought anything not offset by a sold item in 3 years.

    I feel bad, she doesn't have a particular hobby. She likes Vera Bradley purses a whole lot. Probably more spent on that in the last two years than trains.

    She's a good one, from some above posts, I better keep her!

    Sent from my LG-P930 using Tapatalk 2
  15. Carl Sowell

    Carl Sowell TrainBoard Supporter

    Well, my wife and I have been together for 51+ years and she supports my hobby because I support hers. In fact in 1992, after a 3x by-pass, she set me up in N scale. Good mother, wife , and friend. Couldn't be luckier or maybe I have the magic.

  16. Rossford Yard

    Rossford Yard TrainBoard Member

    First wife never liked the trains. Always thought hobbies were stupid, although she spent a lot of time jogging, which is kind of a hobby. Periodically told me the trains had to go, but also when we got our second house, let me devote the upstairs game room to N scale. Overall, not terrible. In the divorce she did the same thing. While we were just splitting up 50-50, she decided the trains had to be valued separately and count against my dollar total. Spent a lot in lawyer fees to confirm that I could only sell plastic locos for half of what I paid for them, max and plastic cars worth very little.

    Second wife is great. Does rebel a little on my "train weekends" with Soo and Denver Road Doug. Also, resisted expansion into guest bed room for staging. Cost me a new picture window to even things out. Great wife....hard negotiator. LOL> Couldn't be happier.
  17. Hytec

    Hytec TrainBoard Member

    My wife of 55+ years is my best friend and we are equally understanding (tolerant?) of each other's whims and foibles. That said, on a whim I sold my HO collection of 30 years in 1979...dumb, but seemed right at the time. In 1982 I came home from work and there was a lovely N-Scale Atlas boxcar sitting next to my adult beverage bottle and I haven't looked back.

    Oh, we also had a basic understanding that holds to this day..."First One Leaves Takes The Kids!" Anybody want two 55 and 52 year old males? They're house-broken, reasonably well-behaved, and independent...to their parent's distress. LOL
  18. Grey One

    Grey One TrainBoard Supporter

    I've been:
    Widowed at 30
    Divorced at 45 - Got to keep all of my 'toy soldiers'.
    Jilted at 50 - shrug, it wasn't real anyway
    Dumped hard - Trains were a minor issue but wasn't gonna work
    Met a woman 5+ years ago. I made it clear on the first date that model trains and hiking were non-negotiable.
    Engaged and getting married in 6 weeks, (May 31st). We dated for over 5 years during which time she partisipated in several rail-fan trips and model railroad bench projects. She has been with me to two of the 'West Springfield' model RR shows.
    I think she's a keeper.
    She has agreed to this layout(s) which run along our dining and living room walls:
    So, yes, there are keepers out there but they are not always apparent.
  19. BoxcabE50

    BoxcabE50 HOn30 & N Scales Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter

    Wow. This is great!
  20. dexterdog62

    dexterdog62 TrainBoard Member

    I've been with the same gorgeous gal for almost 20 years. She totally understands my hobby and the 10 x 21 foot N scale layout in our basement. Since the step kids have moved out and we are empty nesters, I have been able to find more time and disposable income to devote to the trains. She only ever had one simple rule: "As long as the mortgage and all the bills are paid you can do whatever you like." I think I'll keep her...

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