Okay here is my rant. I see a post on a message board where someone is asking for advice on how to handle a situation. Trying to be helpful and having addressed the very same problem I respond with two options [one easy, the other more envolved] Both directly address the problem and resolve it. I then get an Email from the jerk telling me why he doesn't like my one solution [the easy one] because if this certain event should occur then it would not look right. The certain event was not mentioned in his first post. Then he says that the second option I gave him involves too much effort. WELL EXCUSE ME for trying to help you out, you jerk!!! That what I call the YaButz. When someone says, "Yeah But...." So you rookies take heed. If you ask for advice accept it but if you bite the hand that feeds you you may soon be biting on air.
Yeah, every now and then you find someone who likes to "jerk" you around. It is sad that they seem to feel that necessary. I always just blow it off and ignore them from then on out. I won't let it stop me from offering advice to others though. [ January 24, 2006, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: r_i_straw ]
I think we have all had this happen. At least for me, this doesn't happen often. If someone is nice enough to send along some info, I try to at least thank them. Whether, or not, I might use what they've provided. If I don't quite follow what they have presented, I try to engage in a conversation. Perhaps learn something. Share differing viewpoints. And sometimes it's just a person with plain old fashioned lousy communications skills..... Boxcab E50
Since he did not like your 2 solutions, I suggest you offer number 3 solution, figure it out yourself!!
Mom had a sign on the fridge when I was growing up Tonight's dinner choices: 1. Take it 2. Leave it Sometimes advice works the same way. I find the people here at Trainboard to be wonderful. I have always been impressed by the number of times I have seen someone reply to a "stupid question" with "There are no stupid questions so lets see what we can do to help". I agree with Boxcab. If a suggestion is offered, a simple thanks will do even it the suggestion isn't used. Who knows? maybe the information will be useful for someone else reading the thread. A perfect example is the ConCor PA thread going now. I read it and was able to make a repair on an engine I didn't even know it needed until I read the post. Fortunately, the occasional lack of tact by some is the exception here and not the rule. Keep posting and have a great day. Jim
Was not al that long ago that I had _no_ social skills. I am sure I sent the wrongly worded "thank you" to more than one person. A very kind sole who recieved one of these sent me back a polite explanation of how it came across. Ooops Landia. Since that time we have exchanged quite a bit of email. Live and learn or crash and burn.
A personal view- Steve- "Was not al that long ago that I had _no_ social skills." Painting your hand red is not considered by most people to be an improvement of social skills. Now, seriously- As long as it is an accepted fact of life that all kinds of people with varying degrees of social graces, language skills, life's experiences, age and behavior all over the scale from manic to depressive, we will have to deal with people in our particular community at Trainboard unless and until that person becomes destructive to the group as a whole. One can ignore what one personally considers rude or offensive behavior and not interact with the offending party again or one can deal with it in one fashion or another. I know this mirrors Starbuck's mother's ultimatum, but I am compulsed by vocational training to say something in a hundred words that someone else has stated succinctly in just four syllables. I used to post on another board that is proprietary in nature. Any time I posted something negative or that might reflect poorly on the board operator, its policies, products or services, I was greeted with stoney silence and the thread was soon buried deep in archived pages that became faded memories. My way in dealing with that was to find another place to post. I did, here in Peaceful Valley and am very happy that I made that decision.
Unfortunately this happens. I've had it happen before, but not here. I don't think I've ever seen anything here remotely like that. A few other N scale forums have it and that is why I do not post there. I just shake my head when I read some of the stuff on those. Everytime I've asked questions here, I get excellent answers, even to problems which I did not know about on particular locomotives. I used to compete quite frequently in the IPMS or International Plastic Modelers Association. You want to meet arrogant people, go to some of their shows and contests. I build or used to build 1/35 scale armor and logistical vehicles, a lot of time from scratch. I don't know how many times I got mad with people over their rotten attitudes, and comments. This is not to say all of them were that way, but I seen enough of them to drop out of it. This forum is excellent, and a great bunch of people, I never have to worry about such stuff here!
Bill- I think a willingness to help, patience and approaching things with a sense of humor has made Trainboard what it is and what I hope it will continue to be in the future.
Yeah but I dont want advice...I want people to do everything for me......NOT!! I was a professional computer geek in a former life (prior to being laid off, divorced and back to the Army)....and this sort of thing would happen all the time. Some people dont want advice or learn how to do something.....they want everything done for them. Drives me crazier than I already am
Jim: If a suggestion is offered, a simple thanks will do even it the suggestion isn't used. Who knows? maybe the information will be useful for someone else reading the thread. I agree 100% with that. The tons of advice written here in response to specific questions serves a far larger audience than the single original poster. Regards Ed
Tell me about it, I owned a web dev/hosting compaany, had to use forums and lists all the time to track down software bugs, fixes etc, I hate to say it, but I found the tech group to be the most witty, meanest, somewhat helpful, rude, or turn their back crowd, I think a lot was because of the age involved. Social skills come with maturity. I hang at 3 other forums, 2 seem to be the same group amonst them, while the other is very laid back and not scale specific. You guys have been very helpful, not a lot of what's your favorite color etc.
[Posted by Fotheringill] I think a willingness to help, patience and approaching things with a sense of humor has made Trainboard what it is and what I hope it will continue to be in the future. Very well put. Thank you
I hear you, Inkaneer. I have no solution--perhaps that's Mark's four words. I long ago learned that my advice or solutions were solely that--mine. If the solictor chose to ignore or attack them, that was just fine. Do it your way, if you have one. If my advice doesn't meet all contingencies, then figure out your own risk mitigation plan. If my advice is too much work, then go to sleep. And so forth. I'm usually pretty confident about my posts, although I have made some blatant errors, like mixing up Tesla and Edison on the subject of power transmission. When I'm confident about a post, flaming idiots don't disturb me in the least. Forums are, to me, strange creatures, both modern in their speed and breadth, but ancient in the way we exchange letters and take positions.
This may be a bit off topic, but I've noticed an overall decline in civility in society in general, and in on-line communities in particular. The witty put-down, the cutting remark, the snotty response, the nuclear option; all seem to be valued over any more civil response. Model railroading is a graying hobby, and I've run into the incivility on other rr forums; so I guess I'd have to disagree with David's post about manners and social skills coming with maturity. I know this isn't profound, and every generation seems to complain about it, but I've REALLY noticed it this past year. Is it just me, or is it getting really nasty out there in cyberland? I was very pleased to have found trainboard (Peaceful Valley?! ) principally because of the lack of testiness here. Just my 57 cents worth.
Bookbear I started referring to Trainboard about a year ago as "Peaceful Valley". I find it an idyllic refuge as far as boards are concerned.
Peaceful Valley. Civility. Manners. Social skills. Maturity. If those are the words used to describe Trainboard, then I'm all for them. And I hope I exemplify them, and promote them, even when I'm tired and cranky--and I can be both in the extreme. From history, forums are both robust and delicate communities. It really doesn't take much to throw the balance off.
You are absolutely correct that the online world has made things a lot more hostile, particularly with younger people growing up with it. People that sit in front of a computer are not face to face with real people and therefore take no responsibility for their actions and say whatever they want. We call it "virtual muscles" and you see it a lot in the online world. In my day job we run one of the largest automotive forums in the world and you can only imagine the cross section of maturity, cultures, ages, life experiences and more that come clashing together. The model railroading community is a little tighter knit and generally speaking is usually only practiced by those with enough patience to deal with it and/or like it. That patience usually comes with maturity and slowing down in life and realizing that there are more important things in life to worry about. I have to give credit to Trainboard though as this is one of the best forums out there when it comes to civility.
