A Letter to Mom

Mom,
I know you always told me that "if you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything" but I think I have to say something.
See I belong to this Trainboard forum (dad would have loved it) and there are a lot of really nice people that welcome newcomers (newbie's) and are really happy to help each other out when you have questions. I mean like who, upon entering a new hobby, has a real clue? Some of the newbies are even more lost than I was two years ago (and I was way lost)! Sometimes they have built their benchwork before they even think about a trackplan and I am sure that can be frustrating once they figure out that the trackplan doesn't fit. But hey, you live and you learn. And like I said, the folks on the forum are more than happy to help with the learning curve, well at least most of them are.
This is where I have my problem. There are one or two folks that seem to think it is either fun or interesting to insult some of the newbies initial trackplans and I don't get it. I mean like really, are they some type of higher being that does not care about being considerate of peoples feelings - that can't be right, they would have to be lower beings I guess.

So Mom, what do you think? Should I say something?

 

My mother passed on several years ago. She always told me when I was growing up to never be the one to point the finger. Critics are everywhere. Nothing you can really do about them. But your posting may help.

 

Motto of the Royal Canadian Regiment - "Never pass a fault."

For people who are active in their leadership as a general orientation to their living, 'letting things go' is not the best way to live. From a simple ethical standpoint, everyone stands to gain when people get involved in trying to sort out problems, whether they be differences of opinion or outright peacekeeping. Even, or especially, in the case of the people who perpetuate the unwanted or maladaptive behaviours, the antisocial behaviours, it is better to express your disapproval than it is to be either indifferent or appeasing. They'll never find a desire or an impetus to alter their contrariness unless they learn that the way they do what they do for the reason they do it is unwelcome.

It really comes down to what kind of a tenor the proverbial 'we' want to have for the forum. If 'we' want it changed in the slightest way, 'we' ought to do something to effect the change. The alternative is to do nothing, and to continue to find that things are as they were, or even getting worse.

Not all of us are leaders, but everyone one of us is affected by the decisions of every member, if in some small way.

 

Hopefully it will help.

 

Hmm. Trackplans.
Okay, not knowing exactly what threads you are referring to, when someone posts a new trackplan...well, why?
Is it you receive input on what others have done, and why they do it that way, or is it just to brag on a new trackplan?
I don't know. If I saw something that was going to be a BIG problem down the line, and moving a switch or extending a line...maybe moving two close together as mains, one slightly separated as switching or branch....so, you want no input at all?
Dave

 

When I give advice here, my first thoughts are not to establish a "tone", but to get the information across. What usually happens is that my posts are a lot longer than others, whose "terseness" implies insensitivity I suppose, but usually communicates a lack of thought to me. I attempt to not make assumptions about what a modeler knows, so my advice is often quite detailed.

When somebody introduces themselves as a "beginner", asks for advice, then states they've already chosen the type and brand of track, their construction technique, and drawn up their track plan on a napkin, I am not adverse to questioning their choices (criticism?) and giving my opinions...based on over 35 years of N-scale experience, since many times, the newbie's choices are based only on the loudest voices he's read on the web, and have nothing to do with his own experience, since he doesn't have any.

I always make it clear in my posts that I am expressing MY opinion, and that much of model railroading is based on personal preferences, and there are a lot of different preferences. The difference, however, with newbies is that they haven't had the experience yet to develop their preferences, which, as we all know, may change over the years. So, it's good practice to give advice as well as express our preferences and the reasoning behind them. If that's overly aggressive, then this board should just fold up and go away so's not to hurt anybody's tender "feewings".

Unfortunately, the very first choices a newbie is forced to make if he decides to build a "layout" are decisions that should be based on years of experience and also based on strong preferences derived from what "turns your crank" in the hobby, such as what brand and style of track to purchase, what kind of benchwork (if any) to build it on, and what kind of power to run it with. The newbie is just flapping around in the breeze but finally decides to make choices based on incomplete information. That's why those decisions should be questioned, to get him thinking about his basic nature, talent and skill levels, as well as what his future goals are.

Up comes known "experts" in the hobby (some of whom really ARE "experts"), with both detailing, operations and layout planning, and they give simple, terse and specific advice to the newbie. The "tone" may not be like you're at the social club, but the advice is excellent, and is often repeated because newbies make common errors (yes...ERRORS). If they're offended because their trackplan is going to cause them problems, cost them more money than it should and be frustrating enough they may give the hobby up, then they should not be posting anything here. The ones "in the know" are doing the newbie a favor by offering constructive, if not overtly "friendly" advice.

However, there are others who continually give one-sentence digs at everything...the most common beginner layout comment refers to spaghetti, but it IS a running joke among seasoned model railroaders, even if just asking what kind of sauce you want isn't constructive. I personally don't worry about it, and take it for what it's worth...not much.

Here, and especially at TRW, you better be prepared to defend your decisions and not be so thin-skinned as to take offense at good advice and constructive criticism by posting photos and plans for everybody to see. Giving somebody's bad layout design, or bad choice an "attaboy" is counter-productive and is doing the poster absolutely NO good. Getting them to think about their choices and opening up new possibilities has made me some new friends here and at TRW, who I regularly communicate with about their layouts and projects.

As experienced as I am, I am not under any delusion that anybody knows EVERYTHING about the hobby....we are all "newbies" in at least one or two areas, and I am grateful for the constructive criticism of my work and ideas which I post here. I've learned a few things that have benefited my hobby experience in several significant areas.

So, get a thicker skin, be an adult and don't get so easily offended, please realize that discerning a "tone" to the written word here is virtually an impossibility so don't assume you're being insulted, and also keep in mind that just because somebody disagrees with your choices, doesn't mean they think less of you or are insulting you. Most guys here are not English majors, they're model railroaders, so their writing skills are not the first thing they're worried about. Lastly, giving "attaboys" when they're not deserved is counter-productive, but attempt to be kind when giving constructive criticism.

We're all imperfect humans here and some of us are simply going to be unpleasant or insensitive sometimes, or be mistakenly perceived as unpleasant because of our less-than-stellar writing skills or a poster's hyper-sensitivity. We all make judgment errors, so the best policy here, is to assume that no harm was intended and take no offense. If you find yourself always being offended, then you need to re-examine your attitude and turn your sensitivity knob down some.

Cheerio!
Bob Gilmore