The books entitled: The Nuclear Train It was a stormy night in 1945, the end of the war was getting near and everyone was turning in for the night. At 1 AM a lone engineer by the name of Walter Williams and his stoker Roger Wilhelm was just about to board their steam locomotive, a Union Pacific Big Boy, when all of a sudden a distressed signalman came running up along side and yelled, "Hey guys, did you forget something?" Walter of course replied, "What did we forget now?", the signalman handed him a message reguarding the supplies that he was hauling, underlined was "Chemicals: Top Secret, haul with extreme caution. Delivery expected." Walter looked at the signalman and promptly asked, " What do they expect us to do if we're in an accident?", the signalman said, "Hell if I know chief, I just read what I'm told." Shrugging after the thought Walter and Roger got to work getting the train up to full steam, Roger worked hard for his job but the hard work payed off and he loved doing it. Walter pushed and pulled levers and blew the whistle twice so as to signal that he was on the move, the yard tower switched the train to the east bound main and they proceeded east under full steam. As they got clear of the yard, Walter decided to call up the caboose operator (Chuck Wilder) on the phone to see what exactly was in the boxcar in front of the caboose, the Chuck exclaimed, "Hey Walter, your never gonna believe this!", Walter promptly asked, "What's in that boxcar Chuck? Do you know?". Chuck replied with the sound of terror, "It's a nuclear bomb that can wipe out a whole city." Walter and Roger both looked at each other and said, "Good lord!", Walter was terrified, he was thinking about his wife and child at home and what would happen if they passed through their town if the accident occured there. Roger said, "Chief! I know what we should do, we should slow down around towns when we approach them.", Walter with the teary eye said, "Yup buddy, your right, if we can slow down enough through them towns and mine, we might just be able to make it to Washington, DC." As they neared the town of Wasatch they slowed and came to a stop to get coal and water into the tender, a yard worker came up asking if they wanted anything to eat or drink, they nobbed their heads and proceeded to go to a nearby yard tower. The worker asked, "So whatcha doing way out here and whatcha hauling?", Walter told him that they were on their way to Washington, DC to deliver some materials and goods, but he didn't mention about them hauling a nuclear weapon. So they talked for about 15 minutes until it was time to go back to the train, Walter said to himself, "I wonder if they know anything? Or better yet did anyone tell them what we're carrying?", as they neared the locomotive the yard worker asked him if they were carrying anything other than materials and goods. Walter looked straight at him and glared him with his eyes and said, "You don't want to know what we're carrying, besides I don't think it much to exactly tell you what it is.", with that the yard worker walked away scratching his head in wonder. As they got the train up to full steam again Roger asked, "How come you didn't tell that poor fella?", Walter said, "If I did tell him, he'd report it in and it would be a disaster with people running from their towns as we passed through." With that Roger got the idea and started shoveling more coal into the firebox when all of a sudden they heard someone crying, where was this crying coming from? Roger looked into the compartments of the tender and found a small boy cramped up inside, Walter yelled out, "Kid! What the hell are you doing here? You shouldn't be here it could be dangerous!", the boy said, "I ran away from home because my stepfather beat me and hurt my ma, so I got onto the train and figured I'll live on the railroad." Roger being the kind of guy he was said, "Look kid, I have a brother thats your age and let me tell you, step-parents aren't that bad, they just don't really understand what kid's go through as they grow." The boy asked if any of them had anything to eat, Walter gave him a sandwich and some water, Walter looked at the boy and said, "You know son, if your going to travel with us your gonna work for your food and we'll teach you everything about steam trains." The kid looked at him, and Walter could see his eyes light up and he said, "Are you serious? I can help you guys work on this huge steamer?", both nobbed their heads and the boy gave Walter a hand shake and said "It's a deal!", Roger asked the boy his name and the kid told him that his name is Simon Bufford. Simon was 15 years old and loved the sights and sounds of trains, he had helped his mother get through their chores and he would walk to the nearest railroad tracks and wait for a passing train, when a train came he would run along side, waving and jumping as the engineer blew the whistle. He knew that he loved trains since his father was a engineer on one, but died tragically in a train wreck in Maryland, after his father died his mother took the family out west to begin a farm, but as you well know Simon wasn't into farming. Simon was like his father, brave and couragous, but sometimes he'd get into hot spots and would try his best to get out. So what ya think about this first part? Do I need to make some changes or keep it simple?
First, you need to polish your writing skills. There are several spelling and grammar errors. Then, you need do do a l-o-t of research. For example, no one ever refers to the fireman as a stoker, that is the mechanical device the fireman operates. A signalman maintains signals and would not be the person to bring a message to the engineer of a train. Who is a "caboose operator"? The Conductor and Rear Brakeman rode in the caboose when there were five man crews. The UP did not have telephone contact between engine and caboose in 1945. I would assume the whole nuclear business is intended as pure fantasy. Do you realize that all you wrote was a single paragraph? Paragraphs of such length are rare, except in highly technical treatises. The ability to write is a great gift, but it does require a great deal of thought, practice, and hard work, especially researching all aspects to create a credible scene. Keep at it and take a course in creative writing if you can find one at a college near you.
Go for it UPBigBoy, get your ideas down on paper, then go back and fill in details, make corrections etc. No author writes "publisher perfect" text the first time out. Pulp short stories may sometimes be completed in a month, but notice they have a lot of mistakes too. Several well known authors have taken up to two years full time just to write one single novel. Don't get discouraged at this point. I get the gist of your story, and it has the makings of a thriller with lots of suspense! It would probably make a good movie. An author has to paint a word picture so his reader can picture the scene in his mind's eye, see? You are young yet so you have the advantage of time to "fleash out" your story. Some authors get a story idea, then start making an outline. Others will get a stack of 3x5" cards and make notes and number each card. As details come to them they re-arrange the cards into a story line. Then they do a "First Draft" of their story. That is what you have now done here for us. After you get past the "It was a dark and stormy night in the railyard", opening, your tale will unfold surprise by surprise, character by character, until at the climax you suddenly reveal the villian, identify the hero, and the World is saved afterall! Ho Ray! See? You did a good job for your first draft. Yeah there are some Oh Oh's, like the super secrecy about an atomic bomb, even the train crew would not know what they had on board. There would be secret service people crawling all over the place in disguise. In Real life an atomic bomb can not be set off even in a wreck, it can only be set off electrically and only then by its fuse, which is never any where close to a bomb until the last 20 minutes before detonation. They actually installed the detonator fuse into the bombs we dropped on Japan after they were in the air on the way to drop them. Little details like that you do need to research, or your story doesn't ring true. That's why like Gregg mentioned, it will help you to get facts in order. Keep at it, your story line is good so far, don't lose your train of thought. Start writing down what happens next, then what, and so on, until you come to the end, then go back and "clean it up". OK? Don't give up on it.
Good start. It is so important to get your thoughts down on paper while they are fresh that form does not count. You will have plenty of time for that later. At this stage, just let the ideas flow. By showing your ideas on this board, one thing is certain. You will not run short of technical advisors, and you'll be getting the best.
This is a rough draft I'm doing it all on the computer, and I know I need to work on my writting and grammar. I'll need the help to get it started, then atleast I'll get the general idea!
Your objective of creating a scenario that is an attention grabber and urging the reader to stay on and finish the story works. You can refine and get better at the "technical" aspects of writing, if this is your interest. There are many types of writing: one of them is story telling, the ability to spin a yarn that grabs a person, and more importantly make them buy your book. Two authors come to mind in this category - Stephen King and Tom Clancy. When you write a story, if you find something doesn't work, or the research is too daunting, then change it. For example, the "nuclear bomb" is really just a scarey dangerous thing that if you go bump in the night, all h... breaks lose. It is just a technical devise to get the readers attention. So there are other scarey things out there like poison gas, a freight car full of the pyrotechnics of your choice, toxic chemicals, ect. You can even form the story after real life. The engineer - a great guy - makes a mistake by leaving the engine in gear just before he gets off and now you have a run away train with no engineer, in the night, headed into an urban setting, with a scarey thing that if you go bump in the night, will unleash all h...! Good luck
Hey UPBigBoy, how is your book coming along? I am hoping you have several more chapters by now, but haven't heard any more about it. It would be interesting to read it, or what you have of it anyway. Maybe I could help you with some details. Don't give up, you had a good start!
